I've been watching reruns of Duck Dynasty (on A&E), one of my favorite new shows. Some people can't understand why I like it so much. I tell them that every 30 seconds they say something that you could put on a t-shirt and sell, and I guess that's my new criteria for a great show. Anyway, don't take my word for it. Just check out these few quotes I found online, plus some I managed to write down while watching (with a touch of paraphrasing due to having misplaced my short term memory):
When I was in the military and we played basketball, we played barefoot on gravel. We didn't even have a ball. Try trying to steal a ball that's not there. Ridiculous!
I am the MacGyver of cooking. If you bring me a piece of bread, cabbage, coconut, mustard greens, pigs feet, pine cones, and a woodpecker; I'll make you a good chicken pot pie.
First it's pretty tires. Next it's pretty guns. Then the next thing you know, you're shaving your beard and wearing capri pants.
Whether you're talking about bees, dogs, or women, pain can come upon you quickly from either of them.
She may be an ugly woman but if she cooks squirrel and dumplins, that's the woman you go after.
The holy grail of duck calls... when you blow it it will literally fall out of the sky.
You're not a proper woman unless you own a goat or two.
When you don't know what you're doing it's best to do it quickly.
There's nothing worse than waking up and realizing you're in your brother's urine.
Willie is as wound up as a coon dog trying to pass a peach seed.
There's a thin line between insanity and coping with your daughter dating.
That's all I'll share for now. But I enjoy the show so much I've shopped for duck calls. I guess just so I can say I have one. But I didn't actually buy one so instead I just tell people I've shopped for one.
Hysterical. That is laugh till you cry stuff. I'll have to see if I can find the show. --- on a related note, I was with the fam in the African exhibit of the Toledo Zoo the other day and this guy, inexplicably, began explaining his duck hunting prowess to me. I don't know what I said or did to initiate the conversation, but he began listing off types of ducks he hunts, stuffs and puts on the wall, or carves out of wood. He began listing off all of his duck killing guns, and letting me know when the different seasons for different ducks begin and end. Sue walked up while he was talking and is still trying to figure it out. Good luck to that, I say. This kind of thing happens to me all the time. -- so what did I do? I seized the opportunity and asked the guy how much money it would cost to have a real turkey stuffed for display on my front porch during the Thanksgiving season. Oddly enough, I have always wondered that. And here, suddenly, without warning or provocation, was a man who might be able to provide the answer. And the answer? "Around 400 buck." He also gave me the name of a guy who could do the work for me, but he told me the street the guy who stuffs Turkeys (and yes, I know that is ambiguous) lived on as if I would just know where it is, you know, automatically. It's apparently somewhere near Toledo. -- Anyway. I don't think Sues going to go for spending 400 on that. But at least now I know. Just in case I inherit a fortune or something.
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