Chaos

The word "chaos" probably means something a little different to different people.  For me, it signifies stress and disorder - all the crazy out of control aspects of life.  Things I would change if I could, but I seemingly cannot.  I guess if I got down to it, with few exceptions I would say that life is chaotic.  Life is chaos.

On the other hand, I have been known to see chaos as something to long for - at least more consistently.  Sometimes so many things happen when I least expect it, I figure at least if the same things would keep happening, I'd find some comfort in the predictability of chaos.

I guess it's a variation on "if you can't beat them, join them".  If I can't eliminate the chaos, I'll try to manage it.  I'll try to normalize it, accept it, and call it by a different name... "life".  But even under a different name, it still has the same effect on me.

I have a specific memory of being on a Bass Fishing Boat on an inland lake in Michigan.  It was summertime on a quiet clear day near the shoreline.  Though we could quietly move with the trolling motor, the lily pads would keep us from drifting.  I saw a frog jump from pad to pad, and on the edge of the shore, about 20 feet or so from me was a deer drinking from the water.  For me, that was the most peaceful moment I can remember.  I've often thought of getting a boat, and this memory is the biggest reason why.  I know I'd be content with a 16 or 17 foot Bass Tracker from Pro Bass Shops, because that is the boat that made this memory possible.

That moment, however long it was, was not chaos, but peace.  And though life does offer a bit of peace from time to time, I think heaven stands in opposition to our current circumstance primarily because of this difference.  The chaos of life, or the difficulty of it, or the pain in it are all contrasted with the peace offered by heaven.  Some people think of Jesus' title, "The Prince of Peace", in terms of pacifism and ending war.  But for me, it's calming the sea, quieting my mind, and taking the burden of controlling life out of my hands and into his own.

Like that day on the lake, I need to focus on Jesus and his words, "I am going to prepare a place for you."  He is more than one fleeting day in the past, overwhelmed by the years surrounding it.  He is my future, and in that future, the chaos is gone.